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JOIN
Billionaires for a
Dead Planet
on
Saturday, September 20
🎯 On September 20, all across our wholly-owned subsidiary, America®, tree-hugging, soft-on-the-planet peons who wish to breathe actual air will be gathering to “Make Billionaires Pay.”
Pay for what? And why?
For having our way with your Mother (Earth)?
🎩 Simply for being our rich, beautiful, destiny-laden selves?
Pshaw!
And so, we shall oppose it with every fiber of our high-thread-count tuxedos!
💰We say: “Let Billionaires Profit!”
Join us in the streets of New York. Or your local company town.
Capital should be free. Let Gaia sort it out.
No limits on a finite planet!
Everything is disposable!
Seek out your local tree-huggers and let them know that air, water, and the future of life itself are all sacrifices we are willing for them to make.
Sun (is overrated) Day
Sunday, September 21
🎯 Our oil magnates invested nearly $23 million in Donald Trump’s campaign and it’s time to cash in!
🎩 Remind protestors that climate change means better tans. Besides - what have polar bears done for us lately?
🥂 Toast the Billionaires for a Dead Planet!
Find a local event where you can flip the Sun the bird & celebrate Fossil Fuels.
Drill like there’s no tomorrow - because there won’t be!
Denying Climate Change since we knew it was real!
Just say no to solar and wind!
(If everyone can afford it, what could it be possibly be worth?)
KING DONALD DAY
(DEMOCRACY? HA HA HA!)
Saturday, October 18
🎯 On October 18, the unwashed masses will gather for yet another of their twee little “No Kings Day” protests.
👑 Don’t they realize that democracy is soooooo 2015?!
🎩 We Billionaires say:
ONE THRONE!
ONE CROWN!
ONE KING!
So, find a pathetic middle-class revolt near you (or join us in the streets of New York), and let’s show them what we’re made of: Money! 💰
ONE KING to rule them all… and in the darkness bind them!
Exonerate Tesla!
Ongoing…
🎯 It’s time to circle the Cybertrucks…
…and make sure our chainsaw-wielding billionaire comrade gets the respect he deserves!
🎩 Attire is full bling or unassuming Silicon Valley Sheik.
🥂 There are plenty of Tuesday and Saturday events nationwide to have your staff choose from.
Find a dealership near you that needs defending.
Remember: Corporations are people too!